Two and a Half Men

2007-09-24 · Charlie finds himself in unfamiliar territory with real feelings, Alan keeps stumbling through relationships, and Jake edges from boyhood into teenage antics.

S05 E01 · 2007-09-24 · 20 min

Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Jake is getting ready to start a new school as he graduates to Junior High. Alan and Charlie take him school shopping and find themselves in trouble.

S05 E02 · 2007-10-01 · 22 min

Media Room Slash Dungeon

Charlie acts strange after spending an evening with his mother, and a woman Alan slept with behaves oddly the next morning.

S05 E03 · 2007-10-08 · 21 min

Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

Alan convinces Charlie that he needs to date more respectable women and sets him up with a judge. The two double date and their waitress happens to be one of Charlie's ex-girlfriends. Charlie's date backfires the following morning, when he ends up in court in front of the judge.

S05 E04 · 2007-10-15 · 22 min

City of Great Racks

Charlie and Linda get closer to consummating their relationship, but Charlie has trouble focusing when he begins to see Rose's face everywhere he turns.

S05 E05 · 2007-10-22 · 22 min

Putting Swim Fins on a Cat

Charlie has to come up with ways to keep his girlfriend's 4-year-old amused; Alan becomes a test subject.

S05 E06 · 2007-10-29 · 21 min

Help Daddy Find His Toenail

Charlie's girlfriend is embrassed to go out in public with him. Meanwhile, Jake sneaks out to attend a concert.

S05 E07 · 2007-11-05 · 20 min

The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room

After Alan and Charlie have a fight about Alan's role in the house. Alan packs Jake up and moves in with his mother.

S05 E08 · 2007-11-12 · 20 min

Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

Charlie writes a children's song and finds success as Charlie Waffles. The children love him and the mothers seem to as well. Charlie's new found fame irritates Alan.

S05 E09 · 2007-11-19 · 20 min

Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids

Charlie fights his attraction for Teddy's daughter.

S05 E10 · 2007-11-26 · 22 min

Kinda Like Necrophilia

Alan finds out that Charlie stole his girlfriend and works on a plan to get back at Charlie, even though this happened when they were in high school.

S05 E11 · 2008-03-17 · 22 min

Meander to Your Dander

When Alan finds himself wanting to break up with a woman, Charlie offers his expertise.

S05 E12 · 2008-03-24 · 22 min

A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

Rose returns from England, and plays nurse rather oddly for an ill Charlie.

S05 E13 · 2008-03-31 · 20 min

The Soil Is Moist

Alan finds out some surprising information about Judith's sex life when he decides to go on a date with one of her friends.

S05 E14 · 2008-04-14 · 22 min

Winky-Dink Time

Charlie double-dates with Jake and fixes Alan up with a hooker.

S05 E15 · 2008-04-21 · 21 min

Rough Night in Hump Junction

Alan feels Charlie is unable to control his womanizing ways.

S05 E16 · 2008-04-28 · 22 min

Look at Me Mommy, I'm Pretty

Alan makes wedding plans for Evelyn and Teddy, while Charlie figures out how to get more acquainted with his future step-sister.

S05 E17 · 2008-05-05 · 21 min

Fish in a Drawer

CSIs investigate a death at Charlie's house.

S05 E18 · 2008-05-12 · 21 min

If My Hole Could Talk

Charlie's attracted to an older self-help author. Alan and Jake clash over a project for school.

S05 E19 · 2008-05-19 · 22 min

Waiting for the Right Snapper

When Charlie meets Angie's soon to be daughter-in-law, he realizes it's not for the first time.

2008-09-22 · The house feels smaller than ever as everyone's bad habits collide — love, money, and family chaos run rampant in Malibu.

S06 E01 · 2008-09-22 · 22 min

Taterhead Is Our Love Child

In the 6th season opener, Charlie runs into an ex-girlfriend and a child who bears a striking resemblance to Charlie.

S06 E02 · 2008-09-29 · 22 min

Pie Hole, Herb

Charlie borrowed money from Alan and on the day he is supposed to pay him back, Alan goes to ask Charlie for the money. He again finds Charlie in bed with a beautiful woman. After Charlie shoos him out and assures him he'll get the money for him later that day, the woman asks if Charlie is really out of cash and Charlie tells her not to worry, that he has plenty of hooker money.

S06 E03 · 2008-10-06 · 22 min

Damn You, Eggs Benedict

Alan, Jake, and Charlie all decide to try new things: Alan is dating more than one woman, Charlie learns to cook, and Jake experiments with beer.

S06 E04 · 2008-10-13 · 21 min

The Flavin' and the Mavin'

Alan is sure that things will turn bad when Charlie starts dating his receptionist.

S06 E05 · 2008-10-20 · 22 min

A Jock Strap in Hell

Charlie tries to help Jake's former teacher, who became a stripper after dating him, but things go from bad to worse when she has a religious conversion.

S06 E06 · 2008-11-03 · 22 min

It's Always Nazi Week

When Judith kicks Herb to the curb, Alan comes knocking; Jake is sent to stay with a less-than-willing Charlie for three months during Judith's meltdown.

S06 E07 · 2008-11-10 · 22 min

Best H.O. Money Can Buy

Alan tries to escape Judith's grasp as Charlie and Herb go on the prowl to pick up women. They later end up going back to Herb's hotel room with two prostitutes, where Herb declares his love for Judith and races over to win her back.

S06 E08 · 2008-11-17 · 22 min

Pinocchio's Mouth

Charlie's new girlfriend Chelsea asks him to spend the night at her place, which puts Charlie well outside of his comfort zone, while Alan tries to enforce a punishment on Jake initiated by Judith for mooning a group of girls.

S06 E09 · 2008-11-24 · 22 min

The Mooch at the Boo

Charlie finds himself in an uncomfortable position when Jake takes off with the daughter of a former NFL player. Charlie's Mercedes proves a boon to Alan's love life.

S06 E10 · 2008-12-08 · 21 min

He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited

Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education, and Alan becomes listless because he has no compelling reason to work anymore, while Jake discovers a hidden talent in the culinary arts that may allow him to bypass college altogether.

S06 E11 · 2008-12-15 · 22 min

The Devil's Lube

Charlie finds himself re-examining his wild ways when an old friend dies and begins to feel that his time on Earth may be drawing to a close.

S06 E12 · 2009-01-12 · 20 min

Thank God for Scoliosis

Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress, while Alan fights sexual tension with his receptionist.

S06 E13 · 2009-01-19 · 22 min

I Think You Offended Don

Judith is pregnant with a baby girl and Alan is convinced he is the father.

S06 E14 · 2009-02-02 · 21 min

David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie

Melissa doesn't think Alan's family appreciates him, so she asks him to move in with her and her mom.

S06 E15 · 2009-02-09 · 21 min

I'd Like to Start with the Cat

Charlie ends up in couples counseling.

S06 E16 · 2009-03-02 · 20 min

She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime

Charlie has to remove a half-naked woman from his bedroom before Chelsea arrives.

S06 E17 · 2009-03-09 · 20 min

The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?

Charlie's admission that he's in love with Chelsea gets a surprising reaction from her

S06 E18 · 2009-03-16 · 21 min

My Son's Enormous Head

Chelsea's illness gives Charlie a chance to prove he can take care of her, but also yearning to run away from the situation.

S06 E19 · 2009-03-30 · 20 min

The Two Finger Rule

After Chelsea discovers a nude picture of another woman on Charlie's cell phone, he blows off steam by going out for a night of drinking with Alan, Herb and his neighbor.

S06 E20 · 2009-04-13 · 22 min

Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau

Charlie's desperate to make sure Chelsea and Evelyn don't befriend each other following their first meeting.

S06 E21 · 2009-04-27 · 21 min

Above Exalted Cyclops

Chelsea is asked by Alan to arrange a blind date between he and her new friend, unaware that her new friend is Rose.

S06 E22 · 2009-05-04 · 20 min

Sir Lancelot's Litter Box

Charlie mourns the loss of his bachelor pad as he reluctantly allows Chelsea to move in. Meanwhile, Alan discovers there is no longer much space left in the house for him.

S06 E23 · 2009-05-11 · 20 min

Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth

Alan and Chelsea become best buds, and Charlie decides to take advantage of the situation.

S06 E24 · 2009-05-18 · 21 min

Baseball Was Better with Steroids

Charlie starts to question his relationship with Chelsea when he hears that Mia is back in town. Meanwhile, Judith goes into labor and Charlie, Alan and Herb rush her to the hospital, on the sixth season finale.

2009-09-21 · Charlie's romantic past catches up to him, Alan's financial woes deepen, and Jake's teenage years bring a new level of mischief and mayhem.

S07 E01 · 2009-09-21 · 21 min

818-JKLPUZO

Charlie must make a difficult decision about his future and with which woman he wants to spend his life: Chelsea or Mia.

S07 E02 · 2009-09-28 · 20 min

Whipped Unto the Third Generation

When Chelsea convinces Charlie to let Alan's new girlfriend, Melissa, move in, the girls end up taking over Charlie's house.

S07 E03 · 2009-10-05 · 19 min

Mmm, Fish. Yum.

Alan ends up playing maid to Judith's new baby as well as his former mother-in-law. Meanwhile, Jake uses an incriminating photo to blackmail Charlie.

S07 E04 · 2009-10-12 · 20 min

Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

Alan starts working for Evelyn as Charlie works to fix the relationship between Chelsea and Jake.

S07 E05 · 2009-10-19 · 21 min

For the Sake of the Child

Jake stops at nothing to get away from Charlie and Alan, after they embarrass him out in public.

S07 E06 · 2009-11-02 · 20 min

Give Me Your Thumb

Alan's advice to Chelsea that she get breast-reduction surgery is not met with enthusiasm by Charlie, who kicks him out, but staying with Evelyn has its own challenges.

S07 E07 · 2009-11-09 · 22 min

Untainted by Filth

Alan and Charlie are shocked when they wake up next to a strange woman, and try to find out what happened.

S07 E08 · 2009-11-16 · 20 min

Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

While overcoming a bad break-up, Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate to stay at the house.

S07 E09 · 2009-11-23 · 21 min

Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

While Alan struggles to cure his baldness, Charlie deals with the problem that he can't satisfy Chelsea.

S07 E10 · 2009-12-07 · 20 min

That's Why They Call It "Ball Room"

Chelsea wants Charlie to take dancing lessons for the wedding, when Charlie uncovers the truth that Chelsea has been lying about her finances.

S07 E11 · 2009-12-14 · 19 min

Warning, It's Dirty

Jake is taught the art of infidelity by Charlie, while Celeste is away for Christmas.

S07 E12 · 2010-01-11 · 22 min

Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

Jake hopes to win back Celeste by writing her love songs. Alan and Herb hope to keep Judith from finding out they've become friends.

S07 E13 · 2010-01-18 · 20 min

Yay, No Polyps!

Charlie opts to have a colonoscopy in order to avoid going on a trip with Chelsea to see her parents. However, when he returns home, he finds her parents at his house.

S07 E14 · 2010-02-01 · 21 min

Crude and Uncalled For

Charlie suspects Chelsea likes the lawyer representing Alan after his arrest for a bar fight.

S07 E15 · 2010-02-08 · 22 min

Aye, Aye, Captain Douche

Chelsea and Charlie's relationship is at risk when Charlie's jealousy comes between them.

S07 E16 · 2010-03-01 · 21 min

Tinkle Like a Princess

Charlie runs off to Vegas and returns with a new wife, but she's not Chelsea.

S07 E17 · 2010-03-08 · 21 min

I Found Your Moustache

Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand.

S07 E18 · 2010-03-22 · 21 min

Ixnay on the Oggie Day

Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient.

S07 E19 · 2010-04-12 · 18 min

Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave

Alan is torn between the bad influence of Jake's new friend and the hotness of his mother.

S07 E20 · 2010-05-10 · 21 min

I Called Him Magoo

Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend, while Charlie takes a different approach to obtain the "girlfriend experience"

S07 E21 · 2010-05-17 · 21 min

Gumby with a Pokey

Charlie is visited by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends while Alan and Jake are on a road trip.

S07 E22 · 2010-05-24 · 21 min

This Is Not Gonna End Well

Charlie is miffed over Alan's planned attendance of Chelsea's birthday party and suffers the indignity of having Jake chauffer him around following a license suspension.

2010-09-20 · Old patterns and new faces collide as the Harpers continue their hilarious struggle to keep life, love, and laundry under control.

S08 E01 · 2010-09-20 · 21 min

Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud

When Jake finds out that Alan has been dating Eldridge's mom, he packs up and heads to Judith and Herb's. Meanwhile, Charlie decides it's time to cut back on boozing.

S08 E02 · 2010-09-27 · 21 min

A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer

Charlie is willing to do anything for Alan to accept Lyndsey's offer to move in with her.

S08 E03 · 2010-10-04 · 21 min

A Pudding-Filled Cactus

After moving in with Lyndsey, Alan continues to have a rendezvous with Melissa at Charlie's house.

S08 E04 · 2010-10-11 · 21 min

Hookers, Hookers, Hookers

Lyndsey and Eldridge move into Charlie's house after their home burns down.

S08 E05 · 2010-10-18 · 21 min

The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel

Alan pretends to be Charlie when he goes out on the town; Charlie sneaks off for cosmetic surgery.

S08 E06 · 2010-10-25 · 21 min

Twanging Your Magic Clanger

Charlie has difficulty dealing with dating a slightly older woman.

S08 E07 · 2010-11-01 · 19 min

The Crazy Bitch Gazette

Charlie's girlfriend gets fed up with his stalker, Rose.

S08 E08 · 2010-11-08 · 21 min

Springtime on a Stick

Charlie and Alan try to set up Evelyn with Russell the pharmacist.

S08 E09 · 2010-11-15 · 21 min

A Good Time in Central Africa

When Berta takes a couple of days off, Charlie falls for her replacement. Meanwhile, Alan believes he's being stalked by Lyndsey's ex-husband.

S08 E10 · 2010-11-22 · 19 min

Ow, Ow, Don't Stop

When Charlie's ex-girlfriend Courtney is released from prison, he treats her to the good life despite her having been in prison for conning him.

S08 E11 · 2010-12-06 · 21 min

Dead from the Waist Down

Alan goes to great lengths to be able to get Lyndsey a nice birthday present.

S08 E12 · 2010-12-13 · 21 min

Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead

Depressed after his breakup from Courtney (Jenny McCarthy), Charlie goes to see his psychiatrist (Jane Lynch).

S08 E13 · 2011-01-03 · 21 min

Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup

Alan feels paranoid when Lyndsey becomes friendly with Charlie.

S08 E14 · 2011-01-17 · 21 min

Lookin' for Japanese Subs

Obsessed and believing her to be married, Charlie starts stalking Rose. Jake and Eldridge start taping themselves doing Jackass-style stunts.

S08 E15 · 2011-02-07 · 21 min

Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak

While Charlie and Rose carry on their "affair," Alan's chiropractic business turns into a Ponzi scheme.

S08 E16 · 2011-02-14 · 19 min

That Darn Priest

Rose and Alan discover each other's secrets. Meanwhile, Charlie's desperate to get some time alone with Rose.

2011-09-19 · A new chapter begins when internet billionaire Walden Schmidt moves in, bringing fresh energy, wealth, and more absurd adventures to the Malibu household.

S09 E01 · 2011-09-19 · 21 min

Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

Alan and Jake meet Walden Schmidt, a broken-hearted billionaire.

S09 E02 · 2011-09-26 · 21 min

People Who Love Peepholes

Walden deals with his ex-wife, Bridget.

S09 E03 · 2011-10-03 · 20 min

Big Girls Don't Throw Food

Alan prepares Walden for a date with Bridget, while Jake decides to emulate Walden and drop out of school.

S09 E04 · 2011-10-10 · 21 min

Nine Magic Fingers

Walden goes looking for Mrs. Right while Alan has an opportunity to reconcile with Lyndsey.

S09 E05 · 2011-10-17 · 20 min

A Giant Cat Holding a Churro

Alan has trouble accepting Lyndsey's seedy movie past, and Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party.

S09 E06 · 2011-10-24 · 21 min

The Squat and Hover

Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget, but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her.

S09 E07 · 2011-10-31 · 19 min

Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

Jake has a crush on his chemistry tutor, who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will.

S09 E08 · 2011-11-07 · 21 min

Thank You for the Intercourse

When Walden begins redecorating the beach house, Alan becomes overly emotional.

S09 E09 · 2011-11-14 · 21 min

Frodo's Headshots

Upon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test his ability to cope.

S09 E10 · 2011-11-21 · 21 min

A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

Walden hits it off with a British babe, but neither of them is sure he's ready to re-enter the dating world.

S09 E11 · 2011-12-05 · 20 min

What a Lovely Landing Strip

Walden is trying his best to impress his new love interest when Bridget reappears in his life.

S09 E12 · 2011-12-12 · 21 min

One False Move, Zimbabwe!

Walden's mother arrives and Alan is smitten with her, even as she reveals a secret about Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.

S09 E13 · 2012-01-02 · 20 min

Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

Walden's ex-wife and mother try to take control of his company, so he turns to Alan for help.

S09 E14 · 2012-01-16 · 20 min

A Possum on Chemo

Zoey tries to convince Walden to cut his hair and shave; Alan and Lyndsey revive their relationship.

S09 E15 · 2012-02-06 · 21 min

The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack

Walden tries to loosen Zooey up by sharing some of Berta's special brownies.

S09 E16 · 2012-02-13 · 20 min

Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

Strained relationships and girl-fighting result when a huge storm traps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lyndsey in the house on Valentine's Day.

S09 E17 · 2012-02-20 · 19 min

Not in My Mouth!

Walden and Zoey's relationship suffers after they share a near-death experience. Meanwhile, Alan wonders if Lyndsey has a drinking problem.

S09 E18 · 2012-02-27 · 21 min

The War Against Gingivitis

Walden's ex-business partner shows up at the beach house looking to make peace.

S09 E19 · 2012-03-19 · 21 min

Palmdale, Ech

Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers. Jake and Eldridge get a ride from Walden to a party.

S09 E20 · 2012-04-09 · 21 min

Grandma's Pie

Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Alan and Lyndsey try to cope with their mom's relationship.

S09 E21 · 2012-04-16 · 21 min

Mr. Hose Says "Yes"

Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey

S09 E22 · 2012-04-30 · 21 min

Why We Gave Up Women

Charlie's ghost pays a visit to Alan after he suffers a minor heart attack.

S09 E23 · 2012-05-07 · 21 min

The Straw in My Donut Hole

Alan is showered with love and affection upon returning from the hospital, but Zoey isn't so sure it's deserved.

S09 E24 · 2012-05-14 · 21 min

Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

Jake is pressured to make a decision about his future.

2012-09-27 · Walden and Alan navigate friendship, fatherhood, and fleeting fame while trying (and failing) to get their personal lives together.

S10 E01 · 2012-09-27 · 21 min

I Changed My Mind About the Milk

Walden plans a big surprise for Zoey's birthday.

S10 E02 · 2012-10-04 · 20 min

A Big Bag of Dog

Zoey and Walden break up, causing Walden to experience a breakdown.

S10 E03 · 2012-10-11 · 21 min

Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt

Alan and Lyndsey decide to spice things up in the bedroom.

S10 E04 · 2012-10-18 · 21 min

You Do Know What the Lollipop's For

Walden starts to feel his age when a friend's daughter comes to town.

S10 E05 · 2012-10-25 · 20 min

That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam

Despite Alan's warnings, Walden starts dating Rose.

S10 E06 · 2012-11-01 · 20 min

Ferrets, Attack!

Walden must choose between Zoey and Rose.

S10 E07 · 2012-11-08 · 21 min

Avoid the Chinese Mustard

When Walden gets tired of the complications that come with a traditional relationship, he hires an actress to be his girlfriend; Jake plans a rendezvous with Missi (Miley Cyrus) at the beach house.

S10 E08 · 2012-11-15 · 21 min

Something My Gynecologist Said

Alan feels reluctant to make a commitment to Lyndsey, but an unexpected source inspires him; Walden enjoys being the boy-toy of a wealthy older woman.

S10 E09 · 2012-11-29 · 20 min

I Scream When I Pee

Alans famous ex-wife, Kandi, wants to reconcile; when Berta isn't interested in celebrating her birthday, Walden tries to make her day special.

S10 E10 · 2012-12-06 · 21 min

One Nut Johnson

Alan helps Walden create a new identity so he can avoid women who are only interested in his money.

S10 E11 · 2012-12-13 · 22 min

Give Santa a Tail-Hole

Walden juggles his two identities; Alan ends up alone on Christmas.

S10 E12 · 2013-01-03 · 22 min

Welcome to Alancrest

Alan invests Walden's money in Kate's fashion line; leading a double life takes its toll on Walden.

S10 E13 · 2013-01-10 · 21 min

Grab a Feather and Get in Line

Alan and Walden go to Kate's fashion show in New York so Walden can reveal the truth about his identity.

S10 E14 · 2013-01-31 · 21 min

Run, Steven Staven! Run!

Alan is faced with relationship trouble when he does not give Lyndsey a key to the beach house; Walden, Alan, Herb and Billy commiserate about relationships.

S10 E15 · 2013-02-07 · 21 min

Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It

When Jake brings his 36-year-old girlfriend home for a visit, Alan is concerned; Walden tries to hide something from Alan.

S10 E16 · 2013-02-14 · 21 min

Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby

Depressed on Valentine's Day, Walden tries to talk Kate into giving him another chance; Alan's holiday plans go south.

S10 E17 · 2013-02-21 · 21 min

Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries

When Walden runs into his ex and they start talking about getting back together, Alan worries that she is not good enough.

S10 E18 · 2013-03-07 · 21 min

The 9:04 from Pemberton

After a fight with Walden, Alan decides to move in with Herb.

S10 E19 · 2013-03-14 · 21 min

Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon

Alan and Walden end up partying too hard as they try to cheer up Herb.

S10 E20 · 2013-04-04 · 21 min

Bazinga! That's from a TV Show

Walden and Alan are caught in the crossfire when Jake cheats on his girlfriend (Jaime Pressly) with her 18-year-old daughter.

S10 E21 · 2013-04-25 · 21 min

Another Night with Neil Diamond

Alan has a difficult time coping when Lyndsey breaks up with him.

S10 E22 · 2013-05-02 · 21 min

My Bodacious Vidalia

With encouragement from Walden, Alan decides to update his look; Alan is faced with a moral dilemma when he attracts a married woman.

S10 E23 · 2013-05-09 · 22 min

Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped

Walden dates an attractive 22-year-old (Hilary Duff), but ends up being more interested in her grandmother (Marilu Henner); Jake and Alan go on a trip.

2013-09-26 · When a young woman claiming to be Charlie's daughter arrives, life at the beach house turns upside down again in the best, most dysfunctional way.

S11 E01 · 2013-09-26 · 21 min

Nangnangnangnang

Charlie's 25-year-old daughter arrives at the beach house, hoping to get to know her family.

S11 E02 · 2013-10-03 · 21 min

I Think I Banged Lucille Ball

Jenny moves in with Evelyn and her wealthy boyfriend, Marty.

S11 E03 · 2013-10-10 · 22 min

This Unblessed Biscuit

Walden and Alan think it may be time for Berta to retire when she injures her back at work. When they suggest her retiring, she grows offended, and as the conversation progresses she quits. Walden and Alan then try different maids, with little success.

S11 E04 · 2013-10-17 · 21 min

Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank

Alan and Lyndsey's illicit relationship becomes jeopardized when one of Lyndsey's man-hunting friends, Stephanie (Jennifer Aspen), asks if they are back together. The two staunchly deny it, then Lyndsey insists that Alan make a date with Stephanie so that she will believe their lie. Alan meets her for an uncomfortable date, which nevertheless leads to sex, causing Lyndsey to get mad and leave Alan again.

S11 E05 · 2013-10-24 · 21 min

Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003

Alan tries to find out what Lyndsey's boyfriend has over him; Walden helps Jenny pursue her acting career.

S11 E06 · 2013-11-07 · 21 min

Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants

When Alan learns Walden knows Lynda Carter, he asks him to set him up on a date with her. Against his better judgment, Walden agrees to invite her to the house for dinner.

S11 E07 · 2013-11-14 · 21 min

Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie

Walden and Alan find themselves on dates with two ideal women until Lyndsey's jealousy throws a wrench in their evening.

S11 E08 · 2013-11-21 · 21 min

Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.

Alan and Lyndsey's illicit affair puts Walden in danger, forcing him to accept Rose's help.

S11 E09 · 2013-12-05 · 21 min

Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer

Walden goes on a date with an accident-prone model; Alan's date reveals surprising personal information about herself to him.

S11 E10 · 2013-12-12 · 21 min

On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!

Jake sends Alan a Japanese delicacy; the house comes alive with questionable Christmas lyrics.

S11 E11 · 2014-01-02 · 21 min

Tazed in the Lady Nuts

Walden joins his beautiful former employee on a brilliant new project. Meanwhile, Alan advises Jenny to open up to her girlfriend or risk losing her.

S11 E12 · 2014-01-09 · 21 min

Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.

Lyndsey's boyfriend sets Alan up on a date; Walden wants to help Nicole with her project so she will have time to date him.

S11 E13 · 2014-01-30 · 21 min

Bite Me, Supreme Court

Marty Pepper proposes to Evelyn; Alan and Walden plan a bachelor party for Marty.

S11 E14 · 2014-02-06 · 21 min

Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe

Alan finds out that Lyndsey broke up with Larry without telling him; Walden tries to prove he is a man's man.

S11 E15 · 2014-02-27 · 21 min

Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin

Alan asks Lyndsey to choose between him and Larry; Jenny worries that she and Brooke are growing apart.

S11 E16 · 2014-03-06 · 21 min

How to Get Rid of Alan Harper

Walden thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him; Alan starts dating Larry's sister, Gretchen.

S11 E17 · 2014-03-13 · 21 min

Welcome Home, Jake

Lyndsey finds out about Alan's relationship with Gretchen; Walden has a difficult time telling Barry to find his own place.

S11 E18 · 2014-04-03 · 21 min

West Side Story

Walden gets an invitation to his ex-girlfriend's boutique opening. Meanwhile, Gretchen wants to spend more time at Alan's house.

S11 E19 · 2014-04-10 · 22 min

Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang

After reconnecting with Kate, Walden becomes convinced she is the one for him -- until he meets a woman named Vivian.

S11 E20 · 2014-04-24 · 21 min

Lotta Delis in Little Armenia

Alan finds an opportunity to make money; Walden addresses his co-dependency issues.

S11 E21 · 2014-05-01 · 21 min

Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot

Alan's girlfriend, Gretchen, insists he confess his true identity to Larry. Meanwhile, Walden goes on a road trip with Jenny and Barry to see his first car.

S11 E22 · 2014-05-08 · 21 min

Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead

Alan must face the consequences after revealing his identity to Larry.

2014-10-30 · In the final season, Walden and Alan take drastic (and hilarious) steps to redefine family, love, and what it means to finally grow up.

S12 E01 · 2014-10-30 · 21 min

The Ol' Mexican Spinach

After a health scare on Halloween, Walden decides he needs to change his life.

S12 E02 · 2014-11-06 · 21 min

A Chic Bar in Ibiza

Alan has second thoughts about getting married after he's asked to sign a pre-nup.

S12 E03 · 2014-11-13 · 21 min

Glamping in a Yurt

Alan and Walden have a meeting with an adoption social worker that hinges on them being convincing as a loving couple. Lyndsey returns after 60 days in rehab.

S12 E04 · 2014-11-20 · 21 min

Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight

A birth mother considers having Walden and Alan adopt her baby.

S12 E05 · 2014-11-27 · 21 min

Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.

Walden becomes a foster parent to a 6-year-old boy, but worries about himself when they don't hit it off like he hoped.

S12 E06 · 2014-12-04 · 21 min

Alan Shot a Little Girl

Alan breaks Walden's rules when he realizes that Louis thinks he's cool, and he wants it to stay that way.

S12 E07 · 2014-12-11 · 21 min

Sex with an Animated Ed Asner

Alan and Walden befriend three moms at a kids’ gym, but things get complicated when Walden becomes attracted to one of them. Alan goes out for a girls’ night with a group of moms.

S12 E08 · 2014-12-18 · 21 min

Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey

Alan and Walden attempt to convince Louis that Santa Claus is real.

S12 E09 · 2015-01-08 · 21 min

Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey

Walden discovers how challenging it is to be intimate with women when his foster son, Louis, is in the house. Also, Herb asks Alan if he can go on a date with Lyndsey.

S12 E10 · 2015-01-15 · 21 min

Here I Come, Pants!

Alan takes it upon himself to help Walden keep Louis after the social worker discovers he and Walden are not really a gay couple.

S12 E11 · 2015-01-22 · 21 min

For Whom the Booty Calls

Walden joins a group for adoptive fathers, and finds it to be a nice escape from Alan.

S12 E12 · 2015-01-29 · 21 min

A Beer-Battered Rip-Off

When Alan breaks up with their social worker to get back together with Lyndsey, Walden worries it will affect Louis’ adoption.

S12 E13 · 2015-02-05 · 21 min

Boompa Loved His Hookers

Walden fears if he breaks up with Ms. McMartin, it will jeopardize his adoption of Louis. Also, Alan hesitates when Lyndsey asks him to move in with her.

S12 E14 · 2015-02-12 · 21 min

Don't Give a Monkey a Gun

After they sign their divorce papers, Walden offers Alan the gift of his choice, but when Alan chooses something selfish and impractical, it puts his relationship with Lyndsey on the line.

S12 E15 · 2015-02-19 · 18 min

Of Course He's Dead (1)

Charlie Harper is alive. Or is he?

S12 E16 · 2015-02-19 · 21 min

Of Course He's Dead (2)

Charlie Harper is alive. Or is he?