Cosby

S01 E01 · 1996-09-16 · 30 min

Pilot

Downsizing at the airport forces Hilton to retire.

S01 E02 · 1996-09-23 · 30 min

It's My Party

Hilton feels cheated that his company laid him off without even a goodbye party, but Ruthie tells him he's being childish. Hilton lands a job interview on Long Island, but when he tries to pick up his car at the repair shop, he encounters severe language barriers and the news that the car is beyond help. He grudgingly takes a senior citizens shuttle van to the interview, but it breaks down and he's stranded for hours. Hilton, with Pauline as his assistant, works on a magic act for a children's charity event as he continues to obsess about the party he isn't going to get. Later, on his way to another rehearsal at the children's center, which Ruthie has urged him to attend, he begins imagining that a surprise party is about to happen, but it doesn't. And when his company sends him a tacky pocket calendar, that's the final blow, but Ruthie presents him with a watch inscribed to her husband, ""who worked like a dog for his family for thirty years"".

S01 E03 · 1996-09-30 · 30 min

Neighborhood Watch

To wrest control of his block from lowlifes (like the burglars who targeted him), Hilton forms a neighborhood-watch program (of sorts). Now watch the watch commander lose control and cause crime instead of preventing it: he intimidates a man who has just been mugged, has an innocent woman's car towed away, and then must explain why a missing elderly woman is found unconscious in the Lucas dining room.

S01 E04 · 1996-10-07 · 30 min

Happily Ever Hilton

The airline company that dismissed Hilton is now rehiring, and he's fired up to go back to work. But his impatience and confrontational attitude simply won't cut it. When the airline for which Hilton worked announces that it is hiring back thousands of laid-off employees, Hilton eagerly prepares for an interview, hoping to get his old job back. Wearing his best suit and armed with an album full of career highlights, Hilton is overjoyed at the prospect of working again. He spends the hours before his interview doing what he thinks are ordinary errands. However, he manages to get into a fight over fruit at the grocery, turn an eye exam at the HMO into a four ring circus, and witness a hit-and-run car accident -- that comes back to haunt him.

S01 E05 · 1996-10-14 · 30 min

The Best Little Antique Shop in Astoria

Hilton is shocked to find out that an antique store where he has a new job is really a front for illegal activity: a brothel the police are planning to raid. When the cops want Hilton to help put the criminals out of business, he overeagerly accepts the challenge to do his duty as an American citizen and take part in their ""undercover sting operation."" Meanwhile, he is sworn to secrecy about his assignment and is therefore unable to stop Ruthie from spending the paycheck he knows he will never receive.

S01 E06 · 1996-10-21 · 30 min

One Foot in Your Mouth

Deceit weaves a tangled web around Hilton, who tells ""one little lie"" and then, to keep up the ruse, finds that he must pretend he's someone else -- and not married to Ruth. In order to avoid attending a wedding, Hilton fibs about needing brain surgery -- and pays a high price. Hilton is always frustrated by everyday deceits, including truth in advertising. Nevertheless, he makes up the lie to avoid attending the Sunday wedding of the son of Ruth's friends, Elaine and Dave, which interferes with his watching sports on television. Pretty soon, he's ensnared in a tangled web of his own making..

S01 E07 · 1996-10-28 · 30 min

Natural Born Debtors

Griffin is helping Hilton fix the bathroom door when Wendy arrives very upset and looking for Pauline, her godmother. Before she leaves Hilton has given her $45 to help pay her overdue phone bill. Later Pauline learns that Wendy is in debt for over $15,000, and she's determined to teach Wendy some fiscal responsibility, and she tells Hilton it will be a long time before he sees any of his money. Hilton goes to the bank and learns that not only has his bank has merged with another bank, but also that the computers are down and he can't withdraw any money. After a long, frustrating wait, Hilton uses the ATM machine outside the bank, and, instead of the $50 he requested, the machine gives him $11,000. Hilton is tempted to take the money and run. When Ruthie comes home, Hilton expects a compliment for fixing the door, but instead she discovers a huge scratch that Griffin has made in the wall. When Ruthie learns about Wendy and all her debts, she says she'll forgive the scratch in the wall

S01 E08 · 1996-11-04 · 30 min

The Two Mr. Lucases

Hilton's cousin Earl has secretly checked himself into the hospital for a colonoscopy procedure, not telling his wife Lillian because he doesn't want her to worry. Hilton is going to visit Earl, and he warns Ruth and Pauline to keep Earl's secret from Lillian, who's coming over to visit. Erica is sorting through some of her childhood possessions and finds her jacks, which leads to an impromptu jacks tournament among the women. At the hospital, Hilton tells Earl not to worry, Hilton won't leave his side. When Hilton accidentally spills coffee on himself and puts on a hospital robe while his clothes dry, he gets taken into the operating theater by mistake. When Pauline slips and reveals where Earl is, both Lillian and Ruth head for the hospital.

S01 E09 · 1996-11-11 · 30 min

No Nudes is Good Nudes

Hilton has to keep a naked lady in his bathroom a secret. Hilton was too embarrassed even to look at Monica, the nude model in his art class. But when he tries to help her out by loaning her some of his clothes, he ends up hiding her rather than having to explain his good deed -- which just might be misinterpreted.

S01 E10 · 1996-11-18 · 30 min

Basketball Story

When Hilton and Griffin attend a Nets/Magic professional basketball game, Hilton has the lucky ticket and gets the chance to win a million dollars if he can make a free-throw from half-court. As Hilton prepares for ""the shot of a lifetime,"" word spreads that he may become a millionaire and everyone wants a piece of the action. First, Griffin insists on his share, then some crazy cousins from Baltimore show up and try to con the Lucases into investing in their wacky hair replacement systems, and finally, the endorsements start rolling in. When the time comes to make the shot, Hilton gets additional last-minute advice -- from Orlando Magic player Penny Hardaway.

S01 E11 · 1996-11-25 · 30 min

Guard Almighty

Although Hilton thinks he's going to fight crime in his new job as a security guard, he ends up as a glorified doorman who gets more than he bargained for. After Hilton graduates at the top of his class in security guard training school, he is assigned to his post at a fancy apartment building and is ready to be a crime fighter. Although he quickly learns that the job requires many things not taught in class -- like dealing with precocious young children who won't leave the lobby and walking the tenants' dogs, his professional training comes in handy when a robber breaks into the building on the night of the World Champion New York Yankees celebration party, which is attended by manager Joe Torre and pitcher David Cone (guest starring as themselves) -- only after they prove their identity to the overzealous Hilton!

S01 E12 · 1996-12-02 · 30 min

The Broken Reflection

Due to a hospital mix-up, Hilton gets the colonoscopy that was meant for his cousin. When Hilton's cousin, Earl Lucas, goes to the hospital for a colonoscopy, Hilton decides to be at his side for support. But when the nurses confuse the two men, Hilton ends up in a most uncompromising position in full view of medical students and an internet audience. Meanwhile, back at the Lucas house, Erica finds her childhood set of jacks in an old box and she, Ruth and Pauline keep Earl's wife, Lillian, busy with some rather fierce competition.

S01 E13 · 1996-12-16 · 30 min

Tempus Lucas

After Hilton realizes that his life insurance was affected when his company was downsized, he applies for a different policy -- which requires an intense physical examination. The stakes are high for Hilton's physical -- if he fails, he will have no policy at all -- so it's time to really get in shape. He overdoes it at the local gym and then tries some of Pauline's personal remedies for good health -- like garlic cloves and relaxation tapes. Meanwhile, his new friend, Singh, the local taxi driver, appears much more interested in entertaining Pauline than in helping him.

S01 E14 · 1997-01-06 · 30 min

Guess Whose President is Coming to Dinner?

In a White House public relations move, Hilton is chosen as the ideal ""common man"" to dine with the president. When Hilton calls in to a radio talk-show, the president's deputy communications director hears him and tracks him down to ask him if his family would like to have dinner with the president--on a date that conflicts with Ruth's plans for a relaxing weekend in the Poconos. As the Lucases get their home in tip-top shape for the visit, the media converges on them, and Pauline, Griffin, Singh and New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani try to convince Hilton that, as ""extended family,"" they really should be included in the evening's festivities.

S01 E15 · 1997-01-13 · 30 min

Brave New Hilton

When Hilton's friend Bradshaw, the down mattress and bedding ""king"", confides to Hilton that his business is in a bit of trouble, Hilton and Griffin brainstorm about ways to help him solve his problem. Singh is frustrated that even though he has deep feelings for Pauline, he is unable to tell her what's in his heart. Griffin continues his quest to get Erica to notice him. Pauline brings her friend Rupert, a buyer for a huge hotel chain, to dinner at Hilton and Ruth's, and Singh chooses that time to arrive and profess his love for Pauline. Ruth prods Hilton to get Bradshaw and Rupert together to give Bradshaw's business the boost it desperately needs.

S01 E16 · 1997-02-03 · 30 min

Lucas Platonicus

After Griffin and Erica attend their high school reunion, Griffin realizes that their relationship is going nowhere and decides to make a clean break from her. When Griffin's old friends help him to see that his puppy-dogging after Erica has gotten him nowhere for almost 10 years, he decides that he's sick of being taken for granted and ready to move on with his life. But when he moves out of their apartment building, Erica has some realizations of her own. Meanwhile, ever-thrifty Hilton tries to install a personal satellite dish himself and encounters difficulties along the way

S01 E17 · 1997-02-10 · 30 min

Valentine's Day

It's Valentine's Day, and when Hilton realizes that he has bought Ruth a scarf that she already has, it's back to the drawing board. When she mentions that she'd love to see singer Jeffrey Osborne, who's appearing at the Steinway Club that night, a desperate Hilton says that he has tickets and was going to surprise her. Since Valentine's Day is a very busy day at the flower shop, Hilton tries to help Ruth and Pauline, but he buys the wrong flowers at the flower mart and causes the delivery truck to be towed. Ruth refuses to get angry with him because she thinks he's taking her to see Jeffrey Osborne. Hilton is at a complete loss, when Griffin realizes that Charlie, a buddy of his, is a waiter at the club, and maybe he can get them in. Hilton and Griffin arrive at the club just as Charlie is being fired; Hilton pleads with Jack, the abrasive club owner, but Jack not only laughs in his face, he bans him from the club. At that point, Hilton's temper flares; he tells Jack off and storms ou

S01 E18 · 1997-02-17 · 30 min

Florida

When Hilton and Ruth return to the blizzard-like conditions of New York City, after visiting friends in sunny Florida, they decide to put their house on the market and move south for good. After making the decision to buy a condo in the sunshine state, they both start feeling sentimental about leaving their home full of memories, but neither says anything for fear of disappointing the other. Meanwhile, the house next door goes up for sale and Griffin decides to buy it with the money he's saved over the years.

S01 E19 · 1997-02-24 · 30 min

Anniversary Waltz

Thirty years after their plans for a formal wedding at an elegant hall had to be cancelled, Hilton and Ruth celebrate their wedding anniversary by renewing their vows at ""The Palace"" in an attempt to have the wedding they originally planned. Since Hilton's reserve unit was called up just two weeks before their planned formal wedding, he and Ruth had to cancel their plans and get married in traffic court. So, for their 30th anniversary, Hilton decides to give Ruth the wedding she always wanted -- complete with the minister who was supposed to marry them the first time.But things don't go exactly as planned -- Hilton ends up babysitting for Griffin's nephew Davy, he loses Ruth's wedding ring, and ""The Palace"" has turned into a Chinese restaurant with a busy take-out service.

S01 E20 · 1997-03-03 · 30 min

That Darn Cat

When Ruth and Pauline ""just happen"" to spot a used pregnancy test in Erica's garbage and then ""just happen"" to see the positive results, they assume that Erica is expecting, but Hilton comes to another conclusion. It's bad enough that Erica has temporarily moved in with her folks while her new Manhattan apartment is being renovated, but Hilton is allergic to her cat. Then, when her married friend Stephanie comes to visit and leaves her positive pregnancy test in the garbage can -- everyone reacts in the wrong way. Ruthie and Pauline think that Erica's having the baby, Hilton is proud that he and Ruth are going to be parents again, and Ruth and Hilton end up thinking that Griffin is actually the father of Erica's nonexistent child.

S01 E21 · 1997-03-10 · 30 min

I'm OK, You're Hilton

Pressed by Ruth to address his ""unusual behavior,"" Hilton enters group therapy. Bad idea. Now he misbehaves by counseling an old crony, who promptly loses his job.

S01 E22 · 1997-04-28 · 30 min

The Return of the Charlites

When Ruth's high school friend Charlene comes to town for a visit during her worldwide singing tour, she gives Ruth the chance to sing with ""The Charlites"" at a charity function and accomplish her unfulfilled dream of a glamorous night in showbiz. Years earlier, Ruth passed on a chance to join Charlene in trying to make it big as a singer. Charlene went on to become an international superstar -- and Ruth stayed at home with Hilton. But now that Ruth has a chance for a turn in the spotlight, she plans to seize the moment -- that is, if she can get out of bed after the painful dancing rehearsals. Meanwhile, Hilton has begun his latest business venture -- putting together craft kits to make the 'Bunny in the Hutch.'

S01 E23 · 1997-05-05 · 30 min

My Dinner with Methuselah

A befuddled old gent from the neighborhood stops by Hilton's to borrow a video cassette and, as fate would have it, winds up on a blind date with Pauline.

S01 E24 · 1997-05-12 · 30 min

Hilton's Playland

Erica brings Julius, her boyfriend of three months who stars in a kids' TV show, home to meet Hilton and Ruth; Hilton is unimpressed and gives Julius a hard time. Hilton goes with Erica to watch Julius' program and inadvertently becomes part of the show. Erica desperately wants her parents to like Julius, but Ruth doesn't have much to say; Hilton announces that Julius wants him to be a regular on the show and introduces Happy Haliday, an actor he met there, who used to have his own kids' show. He tells Hilton that he's been cheated out of all his royalties and Julius is responsible. Hilton tells Erica who angrily confronts Julius and breaks up with him. Hilton, who's now playing Cowboy Bob on the show, assumes Julius will fire him, but Julius assures him that he and Erica have only had a little tiff, and he begins driving Erica crazy with his attempts to reconcile. Hilton decides to help Erica with her problem and confronts Julius during a show and locking him in a trunk. But Happy has

S01 E25 · 1997-05-19 · 30 min

Social Insecurity

Hilton tries to convince the Social Security Administration that he is not dead.

S02 E01 · 1997-09-15 · 30 min

About My Life

The walls come tumbling down this year for Hilton Lucas more ways than one. First, there's the so-called ""fourth wall,"" the theatrical term for the imaginary line that separates actors from the audience. Starting with tonight's second-season opener, Cosby crosses that line as Hilton addresses viewers, takes them into his confidence and even mugs at the camera over plot developments. And he's got a lot to react to, beginning with two new tenants. Daughter Erica moves back home; and neighbor Griffin loses his shirt in a record deal and takes up residence in the Lucas attic, which he begins to renovate. There goes another wall. After Hilton encourages Erica and Griffin to ""take risks and pursue their dreams,"" they do just that and the results become Hilton's nightmare. Erica quits her high-paying job at the law firm and moves home to save money and study to become a chef, and Griffin has to move into the Lucas attic after a business deal goes bad -- forcing him to rent out the lovely hous

S02 E02 · 1997-09-22 · 30 min

Wake up and Smell the Coffeehouse

By chance, Hilton brings Erica's freshly baked chocolate chip cookies to the struggling flower shop for Ruth and Pauline to enjoy and, just as he's setting out the coffee, strangers approach and ask to buy the goodies. This gives Hilton an idea and, much to Ruth and Pauline's dismay, he invests in a super-deluxe, super-expensive espresso machine, forces Erica to wake-up in the middle of the night to bake cookies, and turns what was an ordinary florist shop into The Flower Cafe.

S02 E04 · 1997-10-06 · 30 min

Two Cents

When Griffin's non-stop eating starts to get on Hilton's nerves, and Hilton's non-stop opinion-giving begins to get to Griffin, the two challenge each other to a 24-hour contest to see which man has more self-control. Meanwhile, Ruth, Erica and Pauline decide that if they have to put up with the men's nonsense, they are going to have a little fun at their expense. And fun they have as they make Griffin suffer watching them eat a three-course meal of his favorite foods and Hilton agonize as he watches Erica walk out the door -- for a Las Vegas weekend getaway with Julius!

S02 E05 · 1997-10-13 · 30 min

Older and Out

Hilton is overjoyed when he meets new friends Chuck and Larry and joins their ""Older and Out"" team, since he's also older and he's ""out"" keeping busy. Ruth discovers that Chuck is gay, and she mistakenly believes that her husband of more than 30 years may have feelings for a man! Blaming herself for letting the spark go out of the marriage, Ruth sets off to win him back before a surprised Hilton discovers the real meaning of ""Older and Out.""

S02 E06 · 1997-10-20 · 30 min

Lucas Smartypantsicus

Pauline is absolutely thrilled that after years of being the single friend, she has finally become a couple with her new boyfriend, Gregory, a self-absorbed, self-proclaimed genius who disturbs Hilton. So when she decides to dump him because he's too uptight, Ruth thinks that Hilton is really the one to blame and sends him off to remedy the situation. But when Hilton, Griffin and Gregory team up at The Steinway Street Pub, they end up good buddies, and big, big winners too, in a trivia game.

S02 E07 · 1997-10-27 · 30 min

Last Man Standing

A doctor places Hilton under strict quarantine after he catches the stomach flu. Griffin warns Hilton not to escape quarantine, but he doesn't listen and, one by one, everyone in the household drops, leaving Hilton to don his nurse's uniform. As he runs from sickbed to sickbed tending to his patients' needs, Hilton discovers that the members of his household are not at their best when they are sick - but he's determined to maintain his excellent bedside manner.

S02 E08 · 1997-11-03 · 30 min

Dating Games

When Ruth's snobbish sister-in law Debra throws an engagement party for her daughter, Hilton and Ruth try to steal some of Debra's thunder. They arrange for Erica to bring a handsome date to the party, but they get some unexpected results. When the night of the big engagement party finally arrives, Erica discovers that the date she chose for Erica, Philip, has turned from the choir boy she knew into a funky rapper. Hilton is surprised to find that Arthur, his candidate, is now a bicycle repairman. But Debra is the most shocked of all when her picture perfect evening has a not-so-perfect ending. Meanwhile, Griffin makes some serious moves on his date, Tammy, a young woman trying to get over a broken heart.

S02 E09 · 1997-11-10 · 30 min

The Pilot (Not the Pilot)

Fasten your seat belts. When Griffin tries to back out of a lucrative out-of-state concert gig because of a flying phobia, Hilton vows that he will get Griffin on the plane - no matter what it takes. When the commercial airline is grounded, Hilton calls on an old airline buddy with a private plane, and they're joined by Jack, who volunteers to underwrite the flight. But thanks to Jack, the pilot passes out, and it's up to Hilton to bring the plane down -- safely.

S02 E10 · 1997-11-17 · 30 min

Lucas Raymondicus

Frank Barone has been telling his son about sinking the winning shot in the 1955 Queens hampionship since the day he was born. So when Frank pleads with Hilton to help him save face with his son by lying for him, Hilton reluctantly agrees. But then Gwendolyn Brooks High plans a ceremony honoring Frank - and he tells the school that Hilton can't come because he's dead - Hilton decides that enough is enough and goes forward to set the record straight.

S02 E11 · 1997-11-24 · 30 min

Shall We Dance

Ruth surprises Hilton when she enrolls him in tap dancing classes as a birthday gift. He skips the classes, but tells Ruth that he is making remarkable progress. When Ruth announces that she is going to attend the dance recital, Hilton must take a crash course in fancy footwork, or risk having his deception exposed. The coffee shop hosts it's first poetry night.

S02 E12 · 1997-12-15 · 30 min

The Two Hilton Lucases

Hilton and Griffin get jobs as telemarketers, hoping to win a fabulous office prize -- a weekend for two at The Plaza Hotel in Manhattan. Hilton is afraid to tell his wife, knowing she will disapprove of his new job. Instead, he lies and claims that his new job is driving Danny Aiello's limo. Griffin tries to improve his sales record by taking Hilton's advice to create a new persona -- he pretends to be Hilton. So when Ruthie overhears ""Hilton Lucas"" on a sexy phone call, she thinks that her husband is having an affair and blames the whole thing on his new employer, Aiello.

S02 E13 · 1998-01-05 · 30 min

A Team of His Own

Ruth must deal with a bunch of know-it-alls. Her husband Hilton ""knows"" that his community center boys' basketball team could beat her girls' team, and her star player Nikki ""knows"" that the game should be only about scoring the points. So when Ruth challenges Hilton to a boy/girl game, he has a lot to do to get his star players in shape, and Ruth must teach Nikki about teamwork. Hilton gets a lesson in what girls can do when WNBA ""New York Liberty"" team members Teresa Weatherspoon and Kym Hampton show-up at the gym for a clinic and run a couple of their finest plays.

S02 E14 · 1998-01-12 · 30 min

Brazil

When the city closes down the Flower Cafe because of a misplaced vent, Pauline suggests that she and Ruth indulge in a pampering weekend at a spa. Hilton's only assignment while she's gone is to get the vent fixed. Carla. the chaperone of a Brazilian girls' choir, asks to rent out the coffee shop for a small get-together, and Hilton hesitantly agrees. After all, Pauline and Ruth are out of town and what could possibly go wrong?

S02 E15 · 1998-01-19 · 30 min

Old Yeller

Despite Ruth's insistence that family and friends should never work together, Hilton goes to work for Griffin narrating children's stories. He just can't refuse the tempation for some creative rewriting, and Hilton puts his own spin on some classic kids' tales. Will he have his poetic license revoked? Meanwhile, Pauline is so captivated by the handsome young man temporarily working at the coffee shop that she can't bring herself to fire him.

S02 E16 · 1998-02-02 · 30 min

Out to Launch

Hilton is bequeathed a boat by a wealthy man he once helped at the airport. Despite Ruth's insistence that he doesn't have the stamina or the money to support a boating hobby, Hilton persists -- including spending three days on the boat with Griffin, parked outside the house in the freezing cold.

S02 E17 · 1998-02-23 · 30 min

Fifteen Minutes of Fame

When Hilton is working at the coffee house, he meets two people from the ""David Letterman Show"". He talks them in to letting him be on a show.

S02 E18 · 1998-03-02 · 30 min

Mud

A plate that Hilton made as a gift for Ruth has been switched for one made by a famous abstract artist. It's worth some $15,000, and now, thanks to Pauline, it's missing.

S02 E19 · 1998-03-09 · 30 min

Enter Lucas

Pauline tries her hand at playwriting for a course she's taking at the community center. Following Hilton's advice about writing about something ""real,"" she turns out a thinly-disguised comedy about the Lucas family. Hilton is the only one who can't see who the lead character is based on - until he volunteers to play the part on stage. Broadway veteran Philip Bosco is Pauline's flamboyant playwriting teacher, who casts Hilton in her comedy as a sarcastic, irascible coot. Talk about typecasting....

S02 E20 · 1998-04-06 · 30 min

1040 - Not So EZ

It's April 15 and Hilton hasn't even started working on his taxes, a fact he wants to make sure Ruth doesn't discover. Ruth has other things on her mind, however -- she and Pauline have an appointment with Mr. Rollins of the SBA to obtain another loan for the Flower Café. At the Café, Erica has agreed to look after Jurnee, her friend's younger sister. A desperate Hilton arrives and asks Erica for help with his taxes, but she reminds him she's a lawyer, not an accountant. Meanwhile, Mr. Rollins, very negative and skeptical, says he needs to see Ruth's and Pauline's personal tax returns before they can proceed. Ruth calls Hilton for their tax information, and he promises to get everything to her in an hour. Erica sends Jurnee over to the house to watch TV, where it shortly becomes clear that the little girl knows more about doing taxes (her dad's an accountant) than Hilton. She gets the taxes wrapped up and over to Ruth, Pauline and Mr. Rollins, and Hilton is saved.

S02 E21 · 1998-04-27 · 30 min

Men are from Mars, Women are from Astoria

Erica and her girlfriends, unable to find ""Mr. Right,"" take Ruth's advise about changing their dating habits and set out on ""The Great American Manhunt."" As the girls despair about their single state, Ruth tries to explain that men are like old cars - you've just got to find one that works, and if you take care of it long enough, eventually it'll be worth something! Taking her advice, the ladies set out in search of the guy least likely to turn into a lemon!

S02 E22 · 1998-05-04 · 30 min

On the Rocks

When Ruth and Hilton have a major fight they assess the changes in their lives.

S02 E23 · 1998-05-11 · 30 min

Love Intervention

The Lucases play cupid for smitten Griffin

S02 E24 · 1998-05-18 · 30 min

The First Gentleman

Ruth is President of the Businessmen's Roundtable, and Hilton the Ladies auxiliary.

S03 E01 · 1998-09-21 · 30 min

Now Is the Time, the Walrus Said

Hilton's new responsibility, looking after 11-year-old Jurnee while her dad is at work, becomes a little too hot to handle when Jurnee asks him a complicated question about the birds and bees. Not wanting to interfere in Jurnee's upbringing, and looking for a way to avoid having to answer himself, Hilton suggests that the curious Jurnee go to her dad for an explanation. No matter how difficult it is for Del to face the fact that Jurnee is growing up (perhaps a bit faster than he had hoped), with coaching from Hilton, he finally appears ready to have ‘the talk.'

S03 E02 · 1998-09-28 · 30 min

Do Not Overheat

Griffin and Erica work out a financial deal to move into Griffin's house on a landlord-tenant basis -- thus giving Hilton and Ruth back their privacy – only to have Griffin's house accidentally burn to the ground. Hilton's visions of spending romantic evenings alone with Ruth are over before they've even begun. And, when Erica and Griffin realize that everything destroyed in the fire was either borrowed, rented or on loan, they decide it's time to grow up and start taking ""ownership"" of their lives.

S03 E03 · 1998-10-05 · 30 min

Chemistry

Hilton is devastated to learn that Erica is breaking up with her latest boyfriend, Gil -- a handsome, well-educated jazz musician who is everything that Hilton could ever want in a guy and more. When Erica and Gil mutually decide to call it quits, it's Hilton who takes the news the hardest since he's developed his own meaningful relationship with Gil -- primarily because he represents the jazzman Hilton always wanted to be. How will Hilton go on? All he does is sit by the phone and wait for Gil to call! It's true that break-ups can be hard -- but usually for the two people involved.

S03 E04 · 1998-10-12 · 30 min

Lucas Discordia

Petty differences about irritating personal habits threaten to escalate into a major brawl when Ruth and Pauline plan a ""girls' night out"" in Manhattan, and Hilton insists on acting as their chauffeur

S03 E05 · 1998-10-19 · 30 min

The Greatest Gift

A major argument erupts when Ruth accidentally discovers that Erica has been hiding all the gifts she has given her over the years. When Ruth confronts Erica about only pretending to like the gifts that Ruth put so much time and care into buying, it sparks the disagreement. On the one hand, Ruth feels that she doesn't know her own daughter, and on the flip side, Erica feels that her mother doesn't bother to learn about her likes and dislikes. Although Hilton desperately wants to stay out of their argument, he is left with no alternative and attempts to coerce the women into a joint shopping trip. The goal -- buy something that is pleasing to them both without driving him over the edge.

S03 E06 · 1998-10-26 · 30 min

Lucas Matriculus

When Griffin accompanies Hilton to ""Grandparents Day"" at Jurnee's school and adds his two cents to the science lesson, it quickly becomes apparent that he is a natural at teaching and holding the kids' interest. Who would have thought?? Hilton is thrilled that Griffin has uncovered a talent for this most noble profession, while Erica is more than ticked off when she learns that Griffin achieved a higher GPA than she did in college. At first resistant to the idea of working hard for little pay and loads of responsibility, Griffin is ultimately swept up with the idea of molding the minds of America's young -- heaven help them.

S03 E07 · 1998-11-02 · 30 min

Playground Scar

After Jurnee expresses her fondness for schoolmate Kevin and he retaliates by shoving her on the school playground, amateur psychologist Hilton explains his theory of how ""playground scarring"" can affect a woman for life. According to Hilton, when women are unable to trust, unable to commit, their problems can always be traced back to a bad playground experience when they were deeply humiliated by a boy they liked. To this day, Ruth has problems with trust because of a certain Kenneth P. Watson, who purposely teetered when he should have tottered, requiring a young Ruth to get stitches. When it comes to Jurnee, however, Hilton is determined not to have history repeat itself.

S03 E08 · 1998-11-09 · 30 min

The Episode Episode

Hilton is sentenced to a life without pork chops, barbeque ribs and bacon when a doctor's visit reveals a too-high cholesterol count. A mouth-watering meal for Hilton now consists of tofu, steamed broccoli and ""not-wurst"" imitation hot dogs. New Jersey Nets player Jayson Williams guest stars as Jurnee's teacher, who adds his two-cents on the subject of of Hilton's eating habits.

S03 E09 · 1998-11-16 · 30 min

Judgment Day

Hilton's steaming when a klutzy customer spills coffee on her dress, admits it's her own fault---and then sues the Flower Cafe for $3000.

S03 E10 · 1998-11-23 · 30 min

Turkey Day

When Hilton offers to make Jurnee's Thanksgiving Day Parade turkey costume from scratch, it comes out to be just that.... a turkey of a costume. So imagine Hilton's joy when the queen of domesticity, Martha Stewart, shows up at the coffee shop bearing the most realistic looking turkey outfit that anyone's ever seen and leaves it behind by mistake. But, when Martha Stewart returns asking if anyone has seen the costume, will Hilton's guilt get the best of him... or will Jurnee be the best-dressed turkey in the parade?

S03 E11 · 1998-11-30 · 30 min

Episode 11

S03 E12 · 1999-01-11 · 30 min

The Awful Truth

Del's new girlfriend Karen agonizes over a secret she's worried about sharing with him: the youth who passes as her kid brother is actually her son.

S03 E13 · 1999-01-18 · 30 min

Episode 13

S03 E14 · 1999-01-25 · 30 min

Lucas Absentia

Griffin contemplates quitting the teaching profession when his first day as a substitute teacher is a disaster. The Lucases lend themselves out as mock students so that Griffin can practice his teaching techniques on them -- although their misguided attempt to help might just turn him off teaching forever.

S03 E15 · 1999-02-01 · 30 min

False Alarm

After the Lucas home is burglarized, Hilton invests in a security system -- only to discover that the thief is someone he knows.

S03 E16 · 1999-02-08 · 30 min

A Very Nice Dance

Hilton and Ruth recall their first date many years ago. Their flashbacks are done through animated sequences, and of course, both of them have widely different versions of what happened.

S03 E17 · 1999-02-15 · 30 min

Ol' Betsy

While searching for a rare part for his beloved turntable, Hilton bumps into an old friend from his bachelor days, Fred. When Hilton and Fred start reminiscing about how they double-dated sisters Mattie and Roberta Singleton, Hilton decides to play matchmaker and prompts Fred into learning whatever became of Mattie. Even now, years later, Fred can't help wondering what might have happened if they remained a couple.... and, thanks to Hilton, he may finally get a chance to find out.

S03 E18 · 1999-02-22 · 30 min

Afterschool Delight

Jurnee is aghast when she finds out that her dad intends to date the ""meanest"" teacher at her school. Del is so troubled by Jurnee's reaction to his interest in Ms. Malone that he's ready to call off their date. But Hilton reminds him that almost every person can remember a teacher who was too strict, gave too much homework or expected too much of a student -- and usually ended up being the one who made the greatest impact on the student later in life.

S03 E19 · 1999-03-01 · 30 min

Will Power

Hilton is attempting to help Jurnee with her ""Romeo and Juliet"" homework assignment when his true feelings about The Bard come out: Why couldn't Shakespeare simply speak in plain English rather than using all of that fancy, confusing language? Alas, Shakespeare showeth up in the Lucas kitchen to tutor Hilton personally. Will it be ""all's well that ends well?""

S03 E20 · 1999-03-17 · 30 min

Lucas Illuminus

Hilton volunteers as a reader for a retired, blind English literature professor and, upon realizing his gift for teaching, urges him to return to the classroom. Anthony Quinn guest stars as Professor Christo, whose failing eyesight and advanced age caused him to leave behind the profession he loves so much.

S03 E21 · 1999-04-05 · 30 min

Timerity

Hilton is caught in the middle when his curmudgeonly friend, Tim, stages a rent strike against his landlord.

S03 E22 · 1999-04-26 · 30 min

The Party's Over

Hilton is stunned when 11-year old Jurnee, left in his care while her father is away, returns from a friend's birthday party drunk. Hilton and Ruth are adamant about finding out who spiked the birthday punch and caused several of the children to awaken to wicked hangovers the following morning. But, Jurnee is not budging for fear that she will be labeled a squealer among her friends. Hilton is determined to make Jurnee understand that protecting the guilty person is sometimes just as bad as being guilty yourself.

S03 E23 · 1999-05-03 · 30 min

The Vesey Method

S03 E24 · 1999-05-10 · 30 min

He Who Hesitates is Lucas

When Hilton and Ruth hear that their ""little girl"" is getting married, they couldn't be happier for her, or themselves, since this would mean one less person in their crowded house. Erica's intentions, however, are for the newlyweds to remain in her parent's house indefinitely to save some money. Are Hilton's tears of joy or sorrow?

S03 E25 · 1999-05-17 · 30 min

War Stories

Griffin's trust in his new girlfriend Anita is put to the test when her job as a conference planner puts her smack in the middle of a young millionaires' convention, on the season finale. Rather than heeding Hilton's advice to give Anita some space, Griffin decides to pop in on the convention and find out for himself how loyal Anita is -- which prompts Hilton to reminisce about the anxious time he spent away from Ruth, soon after they first met, agonizing over whether or not she was thinking of him as often as he was of her. ""Prequel Monday"" kicks off with an animated flashback sequence of Hilton as an enlisted Navy man.

S04 E01 · 1999-09-29 · 30 min

My Spy

Hilton falls asleep during an ""I Spy"" marathon. He dreams that he and his old partner Kelly Robinson have been put on a new case in Hong Kong. However, Erica keeps interrupting Hilton's dream to discuss her wedding preparations. The rest of the cast play parts in the dream.

S04 E02 · 1999-10-06 · 30 min

The Wedding

Hilton has to pay the wedding organizers for their services as Erica's wedding nears, but Ruth is more concerned with why the bride isn't falling apart yet.

S04 E03 · 1999-10-13 · 30 min

Book 'Em, Griff O

Hilton urges Griffin to do something to replace his school's outdated textbooks, and Drica and Darien return from their honeymoon.

S04 E04 · 1999-10-20 · 30 min

Lucas Apocalypse

When Griffin tries to prepare for Y2K by installing a generator, he causes a premature blackout for the entire neighborhood.

S04 E05 · 1999-10-27 · 30 min

A Teacher's Life

Getting through a typical day is hard enough, but it becomes an ordeal for Griffin when everyone demands his time on the day he is preparing for a date with a beautful flight attendant.

S04 E06 · 1999-11-03 · 30 min

There's Something About Hilton

A strange woman comes to the shop under the impression that Hilton is her husband, Charlie.

S04 E07 · 1999-11-17 · 30 min

Superstar

Griffin has a dream in which teachers are given the same elite status & salary as professional athletes or actors.

S04 E08 · 2001-09-27 · 30 min

Episode 8

S04 E09 · 1999-12-15 · 30 min

The Parent Trap

Erica visits a student's home to get his mother more involved in his education.

S04 E10 · 1999-12-22 · 30 min

One for the Books

Ruth and Pauline try to help save a friend's failing bookstore by annexing it to the Flower Cafe.

S04 E11 · 1999-12-29 · 30 min

Loving Madeline

The cast presents a heartfelt tribute to Madeline Kahn, with clips highlighting her character Pauline.

S04 E12 · 2000-01-14 · 30 min

The Hilton Hilton

Darien's late arrival to an important family dinner causes a fight between Hilton and Ruth.

S04 E13 · 2000-01-21 · 30 min

Chilly Scenes of Winter Golf

When Ruth teaches Erica how to play golf, a rivalry begins between the two women that even extends to cooking.

S04 E14 · 2000-01-28 · 30 min

To Catch a Thief

Hilton finds himself in the middle of a Bank Heist.

S04 E15 · 2000-03-03 · 30 min

Raising Paranoia

Griffin, Erica and Darien try to convince a drug-addicted friend to enter rehab.

S04 E16 · 2000-03-10 · 30 min

It's a Wonderful Wife

For a school paper, Keisha discovers intriqing facts about Ruth's past.

S04 E17 · 2000-03-31 · 30 min

Perfect Valentine

Griffin's inablity to deal with the return of his estranged father, who abandoned him 15 years earlier, causes problems in his relationship with Rebecca.

S04 E18 · 2000-04-07 · 30 min

A Pair of Threes Beats a Flush Every Time

Hilton discovers that a former high school buddy is now homeless.

S04 E19 · 2000-04-14 · 30 min

Thursday's Child

A foster child in Erica's class wants to move in with the Lucases.

S04 E20 · 2000-04-14 · 30 min

Kids Eat the Darndest Things

Griffin tries to encourage both his students and the Lucases to eat healthier foods.

S04 E21 · 2000-04-21 · 30 min

A Long Night's Journey

Hilton suffers from insomnia for several days, falling asleep during the day at inopertune moments, causing Erica and Ruth embarassment. When Hilton refuses to attend a sleep clinic, Griffin offers to set up a video camera in the Lucas' bedroom to record the night's activity to find the cause of Hilton's sleeplessness. The next morning, when the family gathers to watch the tape, no one is more surprised than Ruth to see that it's her snoring and kicking Hilton in her sleep that keeps him awake.

S04 E22 · 2000-04-28 · 30 min

The Song Remains the Same

Hilton passes his advice along to Erica and Darien on how to keep the romance alive in marriage.

S04 E23 · 2000-05-03 · 30 min

Episode 23